The Clown Stairs – A Renovation Story
I’ve gone back and forth about whether to share this post, mostly out of concern for the feelings of those who came before us in this house. We’re incredibly grateful for the love and care this home has received over the decades, and we truly mean that. That said… we need to talk about the stairs.
When we first toured the house, one feature literally stopped us in our tracks. The stairway between the lower and upper floor was painted Red, White, and Blue. By contrast, every other room, ceiling, hall, and wall, with the exception of the kitchen, was painted primer gray. (No complaints about that; it gave us a clean canvas to start with.)
Anyway, I’m all for a little patriotic flair on occasion, but these stairs were something else entirely. They clashed spectacularly with the house’s vintage vibe, and frankly, they reminded me of a circus tent. (Even as I write this, I know someone out there thinks they’re fabulous.) And so it was that, with equal parts whimsy and bewilderment, I affectionately dubbed them the Clown Stairs.
FUN FACT: The human eye can’t properly focus on red and blue at the same time—so those clown stairs weren’t just confusing to look at, they could actually mess with your equilibrium and depth perception!
Aesthetics aside, we soon discovered that while the treads themselves were rock-solid, the installation was anything but. It looked like the drywall had been cut using a jigsaw, with no skirt boards or anything to cover the rough edges. The install was confounding (backasswards, as my dad would say) and what looked like a simple fix was apparently anything but. Four different contractors came out to assess the situation, and all of them were left scratching their heads, saying something along the lines of, “Welp, I could probably do something.” None seemed what I would call enthusiastic about the job.
It wasn’t until we found Ace and Stacey at Heritage Stairs in Medford that we were offered a glimmer of hope. Upon visiting the house for an up-close look, they told us, yes, they could fix our stairs. They even managed to muster a reassuring smile when they said it, and they somehow made us feel…(special?)—”In thirty years, this is only the second staircase like this we’ve ever had to fix.” After six months on their waitlist— we finally started to see the light at the top of the stairs (pun fully intended).
Just in time for Christmas 2024, Ace installed a beautiful new staircase that actually fits the house. Classic, sturdy, and understated. We couldn’t be happier; and in an unexpected but welcome turn of events, the folks from Heritage have since become our newest friends and pinochle partners. Life is funny that way.
Oh—and here’s a fun twist. We recently had the chance to sit down and chat with the couple who owned the house and raised their family here from 1977 to 2014. Rob and Susan shared all kinds of fascinating history, including the surprising fact that when the house was originally built, it didn’t have an internal staircase at all.
We learned that interior stairs weren’t added until around 1980—some 70 years after the house was built—as part of a major remodel. (Suddenly, so many things make sense!) Before that, the only way to reach the upstairs was via an exterior staircase, like the kind you’d see on an old apartment building. Judging by the flawless tread paint during our walk-through, our hyper-patriotic depth-perception nightmare—erm, stairs—were a far more recent addition.
As it turns out, maybe the clown stairs weren’t so out of place after all—just another chapter in the strange, quirky story of this old house. That said, for the record: we do not miss them.
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